By ajilatosin • 5th Feb 2019 • 270 views • 54 comments

. You're Zoning Out

The ultimate comfort zone? When you're not even paying attention to what's going on anymore. Disengaging during s*x means you're losing valuable connection time with your partner and, quite frankly, often means the s*x is worse. Do something new to help yourself reengage.

2. You're Thinking About Someone Else

This is fine every once in a while, but it shouldn't be happening a lot."Overall,fantasizing is perfectly healthy if it enhances an experience and doesn't happen all the time causing a disconnect from their partner," Amy Levine, s*x coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Scooper."If someone is fantasizing all the time, and prefer the fantasy over their partner then they may want to reconsider being with that person and what they really need and want in bed."

3. You Can Predict Exactly What We'll Happen Beforehand

You don't need to experiment through the karma sutra every single night. Some of the best s*x I've had has been kind of repetitive. But if it's gotten to the point where you can predict exactly what's going to go down, because it literally never changes, you may be too deep in your comfort zone.

4. It's Limited To The Bedroom

I don't mean in terms of where you're having s*x, I mean keeping the s*xy feelings alive."The most important thing to keep your s*x life healthy in a relationship is to keep the s*xual energy simmering in-between the act,"Lauren Brim, a s*xual wellness coach and author of The New Rules of s*x tells Scooper. "This could be commenting when your partner looks extra hot, gently slapping, squeezing or pinching them when you pass them in the kitchen or raising your eyebrows in an ooh-la-la [way] when you see them undressing to jump in the shower. Noticing your partner's attractiveness will make them feel desired and keep you both wanting each other in bed." If you're just going through the perfunctory motions in the bedroom with no spark outside, you're missing out.

5. You Only Have s*x On Certain Days

If you're really busy, maybe you need to schedule in s*x, but there needs to be some spontaneous action at least once in a while. Brim suggests you "create s*xually novel situations to keep s*x interesting, surprising and fun" and that's not going to happen if it's only happening Sundays at 6 p.m. Make sure you're getting some of the novelty once in a while.

6. You Aren't Really Enjoying It

Sometimes if you're happy in a relationship and love your partner, you can ignore the fact that you're not really enjoying the s*x anymore — at least, for a while. Eventually it will have an affect on your relationship as a whole, so if you've gotten so comfortable that you've forgotten about your pleasure, it's time to mix things up.

7. You'd Rather Do Anything Else

Most of us get so tired or stressed that once in a while we pick TV or sleep over s*x. Maybe you have a low s*x drive — and that's totally fine. But if you're having less and less s*x than is normal for you, you have to questions whether you're still getting what you need out of it. If you're not, get out of your comfort zone and back in bed.

56 Replies | Last update 5th Feb 2019 | Last comment

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